Building self esteem in your child can be one of the greatest benefits of playing sports. Our children will formulate an image of themselves and sports can help them develop a positive one. Developing a positive self-image will help your child be more self-confident. It isn’t necessary for your child to be the star of the team in order to have a positive self-image or be confident. A child only needs to know they are contributing to a team, teams goals and the teams structure. Most parents are the ones putting the pressure on the kids to be the star. Dr. Lyle Michel of Boston Children’s Hospital says in his book, The Sports Medicine Bible for Young Athletes, “any kid who believes they are contributing to the team effort will learn self-esteem.”

As a parent helping your child to have realistic goals, that are obtainable, will help the development of self-esteem. “Each child’s goals should be realistic; as children achieve their goals they understand that they are DEVELOPING as athletes” says Dr. Micheli. To many kids constantly see impossible goals being presented to them. Coaches and parents alike all across America ask children to do what adults do. This approach is called the “little adult approach”. In the sporting world we think these young athletes are just little adults. They aren’t! Most kids can’t have six pack stomachs yet, their bodies just aren’t mature enough. So is wash board stomach a good measuring stick for a strong core? “No, absolutely not” says Doug Hix, founder of Play Fast Training System. “Core strength has minimal to do with a ripped up abdominal. For an athlete the measuring stick for core strength should be how well they can maintain balance when an external force is being applied.” states Hix “Athletes need to be able to take a sudden change of direction control the energy that was going one direction and move it to another direction.” Hix believes if kids would quit looking at the Men’s Fitness or the Shape magazine’s that primarily show Body Builders or models on the newsstands and start looking at what is achievable to them they would feel better about themselves and have the high self-esteem that is attributed to most great athletes. Hix says, “When athletes feel like they have accomplished something of benefit they feel great about themselves. Most High School athletes I work with bring me a magazine and say I want to look like this. I tell them their goals are wrong and you will not accomplish it. So lets readdress our standard of measuring success in your life, not anyone else’s, this is about you and not a model.”

Dr. Micheli believes so strongly that sports could, should and will build self-esteem that “if your child is having difficulty in a team sport like baseball or football, encourage your youngster to take up an activity that allows him or her to succeed by competing against him or herself, such as jogging, cycling, strength training or swimming.” Simply placing your kid in a position where they can swim one more lap today then they did last week is the sense of accomplishment every child needs.

Dr. Micheli book sums it up with a strong conclusion. “To reinforce the importance of sports for self-esteem, consider that a recent study done in Detroit found that inner-city teenage girls who start sports before the age of ten are one-third as likely to become victims of violence and less than one-third as likely to get pregnant as girls who do not participate in sports are.”

Building self-esteem in your kid is one of the most important foundations you can lay in your child’s life. Sports will accomplish it when you help manage your child sports experiences. Please don’t just throw your child out there and say sink or swim. Take the time to ensure your child understands the basics of the game this will help them feel comfortable enough to give it all their effort and succeed.